September is suicide awareness month. I’m aware it’s now October...I don’t care. In my opinion, EVERY month should be suicide awareness month. People don’t like to talk about it, people don’t want to talk about it.
Well, I’m gonna.
When I was in 8th grade, my uncle committed suicide. In 11th grade, another close relative attempted suicide. In the 12th grade, a friend of mine killed himself. The next year, my freshman year of college, another very close friend took his own life. Three years later, a college classmate committed suicide. In my five years as Youth Director here at OSLC, I have taken over 300 suicide calls. That is not okay.
Suicide is real. It’s real and it’s out there and it’s almost ALWAYS tied to depression. So, since we can’t cure suicide per say, let’s at least make an honest attempt to understand depression.
Depression is a disease….it’s not a choice, it’s not a “mood swing.” Like many diseases, it can be difficult to diagnose. Depression is not always tied to crying and laying in bed for days on end - though it certainly can be. Frequently, depression is well-masked—the star of the basketball team, the kid who’s always laughing, the straight A student, the person whose life seems “perfect.”
The problem with depression is that it’s not socially acceptable. Most people won’t just come out and say, “hey, I’m pretty sure I’m depressed.” Society tends to accept our bodies breaking down…it is much less accepting of our minds breaking down. We are encouraged to be strong, fight through it, or get over it.
I’ve never heard anyone tell a diabetic to “get over it.”
One of my personal rules as a youth director is to treat each heartache, each break up and each tear with the tenderness and love it requires. I’m well aware there will be a new boyfriend or girlfriend next week; they will be friends again tomorrow; and I will be approached for comfort again and again. So often, we as adults fail to understand that even though temporary trials may not necessarily deserve compassion, they do require it. Loving your neighbor as yourself is, I believe, one of God's answers to how to help prevent suicide.
When a teen or young adult, comes to me with what I will call momentary drama, I have two choices:
I can tell them to build a bridge and get over it, OR I can walk over that bridge myself, allow myself to understand the raw emotion they are feeling at that moment in time...and be present.
The only way we are going to lower the statistic of deaths caused by suicide and depression is to open our eyes, ears, and hearts to the people around us.
Talk to your kids. Talk to their friends. Walk over that bridge and meet them where they are at. Pray for them...pray with them. Whether you believe it or not, regardless your current relationship, YOU are your children’s number one role model.
If you have questions, there are a LOT of resources. Here are a few:
National Suicide Prevention Hotline:
1-800-273-TALK (8255)
Suicide Prevention Resource Center
www.sprc.org
National Institute for Mental Health
www.nimh.nih.gov
And always remember, God is good. All the time. Even in the tough stuff.
Very Nicely Worded!
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