Look Up

It’s been a rough couple of weeks. Between people around me dying at unbelievably young ages, youth struggling with depression, suicidal thoughts, and self-destructing addictions, and the inability to answer the “why do bad things happen to good people” any better than the last time it was asked of me- I’m not sure which way to turn...so my only option-my only solace, it to look up.

“I look up to the mountains.  Does my strength come from the mountains? No.  My strength comes from God, who made heaven, and earth, and mountains.”

There is nowhere else to go. My answers will not come from the mountains. My strength will not come from another person. My answer is God.

And when I don’t know what to say, or how to answer a tough question, or why my cousin’s wife died at 21 or why my youth are battling bulimia, family problems, depression, anxiety, drug addiction, and suicide attempts...I pray.

There is a strange comfort in prayer. There is a comfort in knowing, deep down, God is with me. When I allow God to handle these situation, God will use me to fulfill His work. When I cling to God, I cannot fail.

Jeremiah spent his entire earthly life doing God’s work and being rejected. From a world view, it would have appeared as though Jeremiah failed miserably. However, as you and I know, that was not the case. If I hold tight to God, I cannot fail.

That’s a tough lesson to grasp.  If I’m being honest, I would have to say prayer is both unbelievably powerful and simultaneously unbelievably challenging.

Did I pray right? Can I ask for something and still truly want God’s will to be done? How will I know God’s answer? When will I know the answer? How can I get God’s love through to these kids when they aren't even feeling love from the people in their own homes? Are you there, God? 

It’s okay to feel confused, alone, frustrated...even angry. While dying on the cross, even Jesus prayed the desperate Psalm, “my God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” Truthfully, I don’t know why bad things happen. I don’t believe God makes them happen. I don’t believe God enjoys watching us grieve and mourn and suffer.

I don’t know why drugs and death and cancer and pain cannot go away. I don’t know why “bad things happen to good people,” or why hearts break or families fall apart. I don't know. 

What I do know is that God wants to hear from us. God wants to hear us when we are angry just as much as when we are happy. If anyone can handle our yelling, our screaming, and our tears, it is God. God wants to use us and help us and allow us to help one another. God’s plan is much larger than we can even begin to imagine. I believe God has a plan for me, just as I believe God has a plan for you.

And I believe that God is good.

All the time.