Forgiveness

"Anyone can hold a grudge, but it takes a person with character to forgive. When you forgive, you release yourself from a painful burden. Forgiveness doesn't mean what happened was OK, and it doesn't mean that person should still be welcome in your life. It just means you have made peace with the pain, and are ready to let it go."

                                           ~Unknown

Have you ever had to ask someone for forgiveness? Has anyone ever asked you for forgiveness?

I have experienced both. Neither were easy. Both were liberating.

Why is it so difficult to give and receive forgiveness? Is it because we are too stubborn to admit we were wrong? Is it because we are too self righteous to humble ourselves before the person we wronged? What is it?

We are called to forgive– it doesn’t matter what has been done to us, it doesn’t matter if that person even WANTS to be forgiven– we are to forgive them.

Why?

For one, God asks us to forgive because God forgives. If God is willing to forgive our sins– no matter how big or small– who are we to determine which sins committed against us are worthy of forgiveness? Are we better or more mighty than God? No. If we can’t find a way to forgive others, why should God forgive us? We are no better or worse than anyone else.

Second, by holding on to anger, sadness and pain, we are truly hurting ourselves far more than the person who wronged us.  Forgiveness is letting go of our right to hurt someone for hurting us.

It’s not about revenge, people. It’s not about holding on to forgiveness for fear of “allowing” it to happen again.

I’m not saying forget what has happened. I’m not saying get over it or even give them a second chance. All I’m saying is allow yourself the right and the freedom to forgive. Hand it to God– the anger, the sadness, allowing someone to hold you back when you are in genuine need to move forward– give it all to God.

Most of us know how difficult it is to ask for forgiveness when we have done something truly wrong. Most of us know how terrifying it is to fear our pleas will be rejected. Still we are to ask. That is all we can do. When we are genuinely sorry for our actions, and we ask forgiveness, whether the person we have wronged forgives us or not– God does. One hundred percent of the time– regardless the sin.

But I encourage you to think next time you are angry with someone. If they are truly sorry for what they have done, allow them the grace that God allows us and forgive them. If they are not sorry for what they have done, allow yourself the grace that God allows us and forgive them. You do not need to carry the burden of someone else’s wrongdoings. God is big enough and strong enough and capable enough to take it all. Take a deep breath and say, “I forgive you” out loud– whether you mean it or not– every day, and it will happen.  

Because God is good. All the time.

God's Will, Not Mine

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. ~Jeremiah 29:11

The other day, I asked my daughter to pick up her toys off the living room floor so no one would step or trip on them. She responded, “NO! I’m NOT going to do it!”

Wow, this, from a normally kind, gentle, well-behaved child! What’s the deal? I thought.

My request wasn't that big, and it certainly wasn't cause for that kind of response.

“Why aren't you going to clean up the floor?” I asked.

She replied, “I just want to play outside. And if we’re outside, no one will step on or trip over the toys anyway.”

Touché.

However, I had more than one reason for wanting her to pick up her toys-responsibility, ownership, leadership, following directives, etc.

So I asked again.

How many times does God have to ask us to do something before we finally give in and do it? Often times, we feel a “pull” or “push” from God and we do the same thing my daughter did; we throw a little tantrum of our own. We tell God we don’t feel like it. We tell God we will do it later. We ignore that God might have more than the one obvious reason for asking us to do something.

It’s easy for us to want to control our own lives. It’s easy to think we know what is best for ourselves and our children. We are wrong.

God only wants what is best for us, and even when situations don’t end as we expect-God is there, still guiding us, still knowing and understanding far more than our mind’s capabilities.

Perhaps, my daughter’s tantrum is a good lesson for all of us. We, as adults, clearly see the benefits of cleaning up her toys. We understand things she won’t even have the capabilities to understand for several years. We only want what is best for our children. And God only wants what is best for us.

Sometimes, God has to make a request multiple times. Sometimes, God has to rephrase the question. God loves us beyond any love we can understand. God knows what is best for us even when it doesn't make sense at the time. It may take months, or even years for our choices to make sense-and to be quite honest-some of our choices may not ever make sense and might not ever seem to pay off...but we know there is more than we can understand. We know that God’s plan is MUCH bigger than ours, and we know that

God is good. All the time.