Learning How to Sister

12:15pm; my phone rings. I look at the caller ID-my sister. I answer. 
     "Hey Jame! I was just calling to say hi. How are you?"

We chat for a while. We hang up. It hits me. I don't remember the last time either of us called to "just say hi." Actually, I can't remember the last time we called to just say anything. 

I think I forgot how to be a sister.

There is no real reason for the separation-not like a huge fight or traumatic event or anything, anyway. We are nearly 4 years apart- we have always been different; She was super athletic, outgoing, light-hearted, and funny. I was...well, I was into hunting and fishing, but loved hair and make-up. I was more of an introvert, and somewhat serious.

I know there was jealousy-and it went both ways.  I think it's safe to say we tolerated one another-occasionally had moments of friendship-but mostly, we just shared parents. 

How does that happen? Sisters are supposed to have this lifelong bond, like, from the moment the second enters the world, it's supposed to be an amazing, magical friendship that nothing or no one can tear apart. Sisters are supposed to go to one another with every high and every low. I spent much of my life wondering why my relationship with my sister wasn't anything like this predisposed ideation I grew up believing. Why didn't I consider her my best friend? Why didn't she think of me as hers? Why were we so different? 

And then we became adults. Adults with significant others, children, careers, hobbies, friends. We lived in different cities. We had different interests. We didn't dislike one another...we just-well, we just kind of forgot about one another. Life moved along-we'd see each other on holidays and the occasional visit-but otherwise, we each did our own thing. And if I'm being honest, I think we were both fine. We cared about one another, but kind of walked our separate paths. 

A few weeks ago, I began praying in a new way. I didn't just say a random prayer at a random point in the day; I made a point to sit down and pray intentionally. During this prayer, I was thinking about my sister and our past. I thought about Philippians 3:13~

        "Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead." 

Suddenly, I thought, ok, so we weren't close as kids. That was a long time ago! We are adults now-adults whose brains are significantly more developed than they were back then. Adults who can embrace each other's differences and likely even find something to gain from those differences. I only have one biological sister. I only have one life. It's time to forget what's behind and focus on how much time we still have ahead of us. 

A few weeks ago, I called my sister about a race my family is running. I was checking to see if she and her daughter wanted to join us for the weekend. At one point in the conversation, I remember saying, "we are going to figure out this sister thing yet." And I believe we are. Some people tell me I "wear a lot of hats"...and they are probably right. I am a mom, wife, friend, youth pastor, fixer, builder, baker, etc...I have recently set a few hats aside for a season or two because my focus was being stretched far too thin to manage and care for each "hat." But there is a hat I need to dig out, dust off, and put back on-

"Sister"

It will take work, and it will take time...but like all things-anything worth having is worth working for. Because of God, it's never too late to start over; it's never too late to try again. God is grace. God is love. and God is good. All the time.