Forgiveness

"Anyone can hold a grudge, but it takes a person with character to forgive. When you forgive, you release yourself from a painful burden. Forgiveness doesn't mean what happened was OK, and it doesn't mean that person should still be welcome in your life. It just means you have made peace with the pain, and are ready to let it go."

                                           ~Unknown

Have you ever had to ask someone for forgiveness? Has anyone ever asked you for forgiveness?

I have experienced both. Neither were easy. Both were liberating.

Why is it so difficult to give and receive forgiveness? Is it because we are too stubborn to admit we were wrong? Is it because we are too self righteous to humble ourselves before the person we wronged? What is it?

We are called to forgive– it doesn’t matter what has been done to us, it doesn’t matter if that person even WANTS to be forgiven– we are to forgive them.

Why?

For one, God asks us to forgive because God forgives. If God is willing to forgive our sins– no matter how big or small– who are we to determine which sins committed against us are worthy of forgiveness? Are we better or more mighty than God? No. If we can’t find a way to forgive others, why should God forgive us? We are no better or worse than anyone else.

Second, by holding on to anger, sadness and pain, we are truly hurting ourselves far more than the person who wronged us.  Forgiveness is letting go of our right to hurt someone for hurting us.

It’s not about revenge, people. It’s not about holding on to forgiveness for fear of “allowing” it to happen again.

I’m not saying forget what has happened. I’m not saying get over it or even give them a second chance. All I’m saying is allow yourself the right and the freedom to forgive. Hand it to God– the anger, the sadness, allowing someone to hold you back when you are in genuine need to move forward– give it all to God.

Most of us know how difficult it is to ask for forgiveness when we have done something truly wrong. Most of us know how terrifying it is to fear our pleas will be rejected. Still we are to ask. That is all we can do. When we are genuinely sorry for our actions, and we ask forgiveness, whether the person we have wronged forgives us or not– God does. One hundred percent of the time– regardless the sin.

But I encourage you to think next time you are angry with someone. If they are truly sorry for what they have done, allow them the grace that God allows us and forgive them. If they are not sorry for what they have done, allow yourself the grace that God allows us and forgive them. You do not need to carry the burden of someone else’s wrongdoings. God is big enough and strong enough and capable enough to take it all. Take a deep breath and say, “I forgive you” out loud– whether you mean it or not– every day, and it will happen.  

Because God is good. All the time.